Spiritual Intimacy

Spiritual intimacy can be a tough one.  What does it mean to be spiritually intimate with your spouse?  Well, those of us who are religious tend to take what we believe seriously.  We live a life that exemplifies our faith, and it only makes sense that we would want someone who is on the same page.  There are marriages, of course, that involve 2 people of different faiths, and perhaps it works out for them in the end.  But there is no denying that spiritual mismatches can cause conflict, sadness, concern, and hurt on one or both sides.  That being said, if you are already in that kind of a situation, it is important that you:

1.  Do not compromise your beliefs.  You do not have to, nor should you, change this big part of yourself to please someone else.

2.  Respect the other's faith.  You married this person.  You knew what they believed and you can't expect that they will change.  If your plan was to marry them, then convert them, you are setting yourself up for disappointment.  Not that that never happens, but the success rate is nothing to brag about.

For those of us who share one religion or spiritual belief between ourselves and our spouse, that doesn't always  mean you're going to be in sync all the time.  There are many aspects to faith, and what one of you may deem SO important, the other may feel is just a guideline, or a nice idea but not for them.  This is where the intimacy comes in.  Talk to each other.  If your spouse feels strongly about something and you don't feel the same way, discuss what can be done to find a middle ground.... or, if you want to be a hero to your loved one, just do it.  Usually the things that we feel strongly about in religion can only make us better.

Being on the same page creates unity in marriage.  Trying to understand one another is a great way to strengthen that unity and grow closer as a husband and wife.  Spiritual intimacy is such a significant part of a relationship.  If you do not believe all the same things, it doesn't mean you are doomed to fail.... but the fundamentals must be discussed and agreed upon in order for you to succeed.  Know what you believe so you can have peace, and so that when children come along you know what they are going to learn growing up.  That is, a lot of the time, what it comes down to.  We can often deal with our spouse not believing exactly the same way we do, but thinking about our posterity and what they will learn from us can be intense.  We'll talk about that more another time.