Financial Agreement

I've asked permission to share a dear friend's story, so here it is:

My friend has been married for 20-something years.  She is married to a good man, and they have BEAUTIFUL children and grandchildren.  From the outside looking in, they have a fabulous marriage with limited problems.... but that's not the case.  A few years back, my friend had to close a business in which she had invested several thousand dollars.  The husband, afraid of being dragged down with her, proclaimed his financial independence.  He said, "you're on your own".

Point 1:  In a marriage, there is no "on your own".

So she had to open her own bank account and make her own money.  For years she has not had a husband to help her financially.  Now more present, a situation has come about (by no fault of this self-sacrificing, all-giving woman) that requires her to hire a lawyer.  When it first came up, her husband said, once again, "you're on your own".  He just doesn't have time for this nonsense.

Point 2:  You must always make time for your spouse when they are in need.

The husband has minor surgery coming up, and will not be able to work for a little while.  When this came up, he said to my friend, "I'm going to need you to support me for a few months while I rest."  It's hard to imagine the kind of humility one has to have to not say "Excuse me?!  You have left me financially responsible for myself for years and now you want me to help you?!"  But, although she has some hard feelings, she knows it is in the interest of their marriage to do what she can.

Point 3:  Self-sacrifice is sometimes necessary.

To address the points, (Point 1) marriage is a partnership.  Why in the world would you allow your spouse to suffer through challenges on their own when they're supposed to have a support system in you?  (Point 2)  You may think your life is busy, but when your spouse needs you, nothing else should matter.  You are their rock, and you should be the one that they can count on to be there.  (Point 3)  Give 100%.  I'll mention this every week because it's the key ingredient to a happy marriage.  Give everything, even when you maybe don't think they deserve it, at times.

Finances are one of the biggest causes for fights in marriage.  That's why it's so important to have a plan and a budget... That doesn't mean problems won't arise, but work together to resolve financial crises and live by the rule: What's yours is mine.