How to "Fight"

How do you fight?  When a disagreement arises, how do you handle it?  I'll tell you one thing:  You'd better not yell.  Has a fight ever been solved, peace ever been attained, by screaming at each other?  No.  Even when the screaming ends and you go your separate ways, you haven't resolved anything.  It's just been put off until the next time.... and there WILL be a next time.

I am astounded at how many couples have a problem with this.  And the biggest part of the problem?  They don't realize it's wrong!!  Most of us are outwardly patient with almost everyone around us, and yet, when it comes to our family, we snap at the littlest things.  We've talked about patience, but let me just reiterate... BE PATIENT.  However, just because we're keeping a cool head, it doesn't mean that we're going to agree on everything... we just handle it better.  So when you disagree, here's what you do:

1. Hold hands.  It seems like a tough thing to be affectionate when you're upset with each other, but it works.  It helps to ease the tension and remind you that you love this person.


2. Remember you love this person!  This is the love of your life. If you're going to forgive anyone, shouldn't it be them?


3. Talk at a reasonable tone.  Do NOT yell.  You wouldn't yell at a stranger, so how dare you scream at the one person who is always there for you!


4. Discuss the problem.  Explain to your spouse the reason you are upset.  Be clear and descriptive, but not offensive.


5. Come up with a solution.  The discussion will be for nothing if you don't decide on a fix.  So agree to work together to solve the problem, and stick to it.  Try your hardest to please the other... Remember that we are giving 100%.

If this is the formula you use, you will be able to say truthfully that you never fight.  This isn't a fight.  It's a conversation that comes from love, and the topic is "how can we strengthen our marriage?"  When peace reigns in the home, our intimacy grows  --  Every bit of it.